"SPITFIRE" in the Morning

Scary!!! That is how I would describe what happened.

Bonnie and I are training for a half and full marathon, (well, Bonnie is training, I am thinking about how I should be training.) So, it was a beautiful day and Bonnie had scheduled her 12 mile run for the week on Wednesday to accommodate for my school schedule. As Bonnie leaves for her run, she informs me that she will be back around 12 noon. A side note, Lydia was sleeping so I put Bonnie's phone, (which she left with me) and my phone on vibrate. Mistake #1. Secondly, around 11:45 am I decided to wake Lydia up from her morning nap to feed her lunch. Good job Josh, you remembered to feed your child...Then I took Lydia into the kitchen, without the phones, Mistake #2.

As 12 noon rolls around we are looking for Bonnie but she is nowhere in sight. No worries, maybe she went longer than she originally anticipated. At 12:20 pm I get worried and I decide to go looking for Bonnie. So, I grab Lydia, grab my phone and look at it, “Oh no”, I have six missed calls from an unknown Louisville phone number, over the last 45 minutes. My heart sank, “where is Bonnie?” It was that same feeling you get when you remember that you have a child and you haven't heard a peep from her in 10 minutes and you wonder where is she? and what on earth is she getting into? Except this was a little more terrifying, (a lot more terrifying actually).

So, I call the number and a young female voice answers, “hello?” then I say “is Bonnie near you?” The girl proceeds to tell me that Bonnie stopped in there (there being a coffee shop, which made me wonder at first if this was for real) 45 minutes ago because she was being followed!!! “What?” “Where is she now?” and the girl tells me that Bonnie decided to run home down the major street. “Oh no” our credit card number just got stolen over the weekend, a brick was thrown through our car window in a parking lot while we were sleeping, (All happening while we were at a wedding in Toronto, Canada. “Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee,” I guess Canadian's don't include foreigners in their theme song...oh well.)so, what next?

Lydia and I (a.k.a. “Search and Rescue”) tore out of the driveway and made it 500ft before we spotted our missing target. She was not happy. I will leave the details out. But, I will tell you, HUSBANDS you would be wise to have your phone duct-taped to your body if your wife is going on a long run and you are her only source of protection. And secondly, you need to arm your wife with “SPITFIRE”!

After Bonnie and I “worked through some things” (I will leave the details out) I decided to go on a mission to find the “SPITFIRE”. I had heard about it somewhere, I don't remember where, but it looked pretty cool. It is basically pepper spray in a device that you can aim in any direction, even hit a target that comes from behind to attack you. Regular pepper spray is awkward and not as precise. So, needless to say I called several running stores, all of them carried it but only one store had any in stock, and they only had one left. (That should tell you something if every running store in Louisville is sold out of them and you yourself don't even have one...told me something) So, I drove to the store and bought the last one. The best $14.99 I spent on protection devices.(Plus the store owner threw in a free refill, awesome!) I rushed home (after stopping at Lowe's by my house to see if they had anything on sale, of course) and surprised Bonnie with her new weapon. I happily attached the weapon to Bonnie's keychain and gave her a thorough demonstration on how to use the weapon.

So, if you haven't purchased a “SPITFIRE” for your wife, now is the time to shine. Make her happy and give her the power of “Fire”. Go to the link below to see the weapon. (I don't get any kickback if you purchase one, just the satisfaction knowing that you are listening to my wisdom.)

http://www.spitfire.us/about.htm